Hold On

If you look really closely you’ll see a hint of burgundy popping through the leaves. And burgundy leaves mean fall is coming. And fall is followed by winter. And winter drags on faaaaaar too long here in Minnesota.

I caught myself mid-conversation with the kids over the weekend. Each time I pull into the beautiful tree-lined neighborhood we live in, I pointed out the spattering of golden leaves that were beginning to pop up. At first it was to appreciate the beauty of them. After a couple days, I really began to dread seeing more and more peek through. Yesterday, I groaned a little, and pointed out some new ones. Brooke asked me, ‘why don’t you like it when the leaves turn colors?’ “Because as soon as the leaves start turning colors, I know that fall is coming. And after fall comes winter. I don’t want winter to come! I just want to hold on to summer.” To which she didn’t reply. She didn’t have to. Because somehow, we all heard the unspoken, ‘well, why don’t you just enjoy the fall??’

In a very sneaky, subtle way I had begun to live with dread. I never want to live with dread. It is pointless and futile to hold on to anything, really. There’s always something exciting about what is to come, but we can’t experience it until we no longer hold on to the present. Kristen is saddened by Brooklynne’s outgrowing little 0-3 month outfits, yet she looks forward with anticipation to her growth and development each and every week. It’s easy to hold onto the last days of summer vacation for the kids, but I enjoy the quiet productivity of my days while they’re in school. High school gives way to the rewarding challenges of college; and of course, pre-season football only whets our appetite for the games that count beginning in September.

I will not dread; I will embrace each day and look forward with anticipation to all it brings. Enjoy your days, your weeks, your seasons, and your years. The possibilities are endless!!

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