Never Again

Probably because I’ve been spending inordinate amounts of time by myself and in my own head, lately I’m keenly aware of everything. It seems that somehow, some way, someone turned my sensitivity sonar up much higher than I’m used to. I’m doing my best to spend two weeks at a time between California and Minnesota, resulting in a feeling that I’m neither here nor there, and quite possibly somewhere else other than where I currently am. Thus, too much time in my own head.

I found myself, in the midst of running errands, thinking that I must never again take anything for granted. I’ve been in this place before ~ it usually follows a scare of some sort, when the resulting relief reminds me to make sure I appreciate everything and everyone. I’ve been open about my month-long moment of questioning God, and true to His faithfulness, I see that He was there beside me all along. Looking back over several very disappointing and frustrating times in my life, each time I was given the gift of perspective, immediately shrinking the enormity of my current frustration. For example, when I was expecting our 6th child, and found out I was carrying our 5th girl, I couldn’t even ‘go there’, because on that very day, my girlfriend suffered her 5th miscarriage. She’d have been ecstatic to find out she was carrying a healthy baby girl. (Plus, that 5th girl Becky, has been a delight from Day 1).

Earlier this year, when the axe fell at the 49ers, Minnesota wasn’t my first choice for our next assignment, but I quickly turned thankful when I saw how many coaches were unable to hook up with another team.

Our recent upheaval rattled me on so many levels, but in the restoration process, I’m profoundly grateful for my current circumstances. And as I clean and re-clean the house for realtor showings and open houses, I am enjoying the blessing of our time in California. With each box that I packed, I was able to release this house, and prepare it for its next owner. And in the process, I’ve found joy.

I have never taken for granted the beauty of this place. I’ve said before, and it bears repeating, that I consider the foliage that surrounds our home a true gift from God. I was able to display a bouquet of flowers fresh from my yard several months out of the year.

Only the Lord knows where our next assignment will be, but if it’s a house with a pool in a warm climate, I won’t take it for granted! Loved enjoying this yard.



  1. Buddhist says:

    A few weeks ago I was speaking to a person I had known for years due to their work in the community. A person in their forties. Now, they are lying in a hospital intensive care unit after major surgery to remove about two feet of their intestine. No fault of there own. It just happened. That’s how life can be and we must accept the uncertainty of it all and not grasp at that which was never ours to always keep.

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